so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
you will always have a special place in my vag
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
