The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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