She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Sex in the backyard? Check.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
