i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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