I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
