Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
