4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
