FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
