My room smells like vodka and shame
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
