I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
