a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
