i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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