I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
