You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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