He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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