We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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