so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
