Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
