Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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