So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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