Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
