They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
