saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
