i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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