She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
