im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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