Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize