hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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