The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
false alarm, still single
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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