Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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