He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
