God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
