Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Randomize
