On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Are my feet made of real feet?
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I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
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I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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