i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
