I think scott just propositioned me for sex
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize