he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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