I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
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Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
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i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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