I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
