I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize