Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
