So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
