I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I think your dad took our porno
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
