he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
