I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
where does the pee come out of this thing
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
