i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
