I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
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i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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