it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
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