Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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