She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
i think my cat just said my name.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
