Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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