But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
