K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
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