mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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