What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize