Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
