I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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