i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
splinters make it hard to masturbate
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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