Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
