i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
