His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
